Disappointed

what a big disappointment to all fouth year students of Pasig City Science High School..

our retreat was cancelled..
damn.. period.

My Worst Nightmare Is Yet To Come

i'm feeling very down..

i hate my life.. i thought it was getting better, but no..
i hate myself.. i hate every detail about me..
why do i need to live..
i hate it..!
i hate myself..
why is life so unfair???????????????????????
i hate it..
kill me now.. i don't want to continue living..
it just hurts me!
i hate myself..

why does it have to be like this..?
sh*t!!

i thought of it before.. this is going to be my "worst year!"
many proofs had come.!
i hate it.!!
zoom to 2010 please!!!!!!!!!!!!

i hate it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
damn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i hate this life...
can't i just be reincarnated to a different person where i can't face hardships?a Pharaoh maybe..
i just hate it!!!!!
can you imagine you yourself being regretted by someone?? it hurts!!
it deeply hurt me.. deep through my veins.! i hated it..
fcukingly! damn.!
i hate it very much!
let's just zoom to 2010 please.!!! 2009 is my worst year!!! damn..
damn..damn..damn..damn..damn..damn..damn..damn..damn..damn..damn..damn..
damn..damn..damn..damn..damn..damn..damn..damn..damn..damn..damn..damn..
damn..damn..damn..damn..damn..damn..damn..damn..damn..damn..damn..damn..
damn..damn..damn..damn..damn..damn..damn..damn..damn..damn..damn..damn..
damn..damn..damn..damn..damn..damn..damn..damn..damn..damn..damn..damn..
damn..damn..damn..damn..damn..damn..damn..damn..damn..damn..damn..damn..
damn..damn..damn..damn..damn..damn..damn..damn..damn..damn..damn..damn..
damn..damn..damn..damn..damn..damn..damn..damn..damn..damn..damn..damn..

Doubts

isn't it hard to think when you know that someone doesn't trust you?
don't you just hate it when someone has doubts about you?

it's like standing on top of a log in the raging ocean with a friend and you don't know if that friend will trust you and let you stay or just have a doubt on you and throw you away..
amf.. it really hurts to know that someone very spcial to you just throw away their trust because of a simple misunderstanding..very childish? but if you just know how it feels maybe you'll be as down as me..

i can spend the day just staring in my computer and think about why would someone have a doubt on me..i don't lie to someone special like "that person".. i hate it..i hate it..i hate it..i hate it..!!!!!!!!

why would there be a part of your life where you need to think about how to reconciliate with someone and say sorry when you've done nothing wrong???????????????????????

stupid!!!!!!
very stupid!!
d*mn..!!!!
d*mn it!!
sh*t!!
fcuk!!!
#@$%%#^#$^@#%!@#%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What A Brilliant Idea

hehe.. i have a new typing and printing job business..

my neighbor gave me the idea.. and like it was brilliant!!!
:)

well, off to doing their projects.. hehe... bye bye..

Chill

this was a nice day chilling with rhia and iza..
this was supposed to be a bullsquared chill time but like the others didn't join us, leaving us three..
even though, we still had a great time..

we watched a movie.. drank.........iced tea.. haha
we totally got hungry while watching AFC.. haha.. yummy barbecue..! i want to talk the savory flavour of beef, pork and chicken... awiee..
like being bored, we slept and lay ed down for a few minutes..
hahaha..

it was really fun..
btw, check out their cool sites:
http://doodle-rhia.blogspot.com - rhia
http://greenerthangreene.blogspot.com - iza

cool sites ^ ..

that's all for the day..
and yeah.. rhia - the hotdogs and ice cream was totally good for my tastebuds..hehe..

when will we chill next?

Very Very Confused

what am i gonna do?
i'm very confused in what college i'm gonna go to..

being a fourth year student is a very hard job..
you need to pick what you really want to do throughout your life..
it's the time that you need to choose whether you want to just lay back or continue studying;
become a teacher, be a boss, be an architect, be an engineer..
but there will be a time that somehow there is someone that you want to be with during college but it's really hard because you chose different courses..
what the heck.. if you want to be with your friends you can right? but the main reason of college is not being together with your friends but about being confident with yourself, learning more about life and getting ready for your grown-up jobs..

if you want to be successful, you should balance between work and play..
you should have enough time for your serious studies and enough time for your friends..

it's really confusing what to choose right?
amf..
i'm getting dizzier and dizzier as time goes closer to graduation..
graduation means "of to college" and it's really hard to let go of high school life..
it's like, high school is really fun and going out of it would be a very very miserable task for everyone but why would you want to leave it?..
can't we just study our courses in high school?
it sounds easier..

i wanna be surrounded with people i know..
i don't want a place where i'm an out caste, a loner, alone..
i'm monophobic for God's sake..
i think i can't deal with college alone..
well, i really can't..

i just want a sign or something..
i hate thinking about the future..
can't we just have fun today and the future will just wait..

God knows our destiny..
why can't we?
i think it's for us to be prepared..
for us to expect..
for us to be ready..
for us to learn..
God is our guide in life..
He knows whether we're doing the right thing or the wrong..
He'll be there when we made the wrong choice and help us get out of it..

i just hope God will help me through this apocalypse i'm going through..
i don't know what to do next..
what move to make..
to just be stable, to run, to fight..

i want to know what i need to do..
i'm very confused on what i wanna be..
i want to know what i will be..
who i will be..

i want to recommend Demi Lovato's song
WHO WILL I BE.. from Camp Rock..

my favorite part of the song:

" who will i be it's up to me, all the never ending possibilities

that i can see, there's nothing that i can't do"

"if i can become anyone and know the choice is up to me..

Who will I be? "

Finally

this is the last day of the 3rd periodical exam..
yey!! the test is finished..
i just wish that i passed my exams.. he he..

well, thanks to my classmates for being THERE in my time of NEED..hehehehe..

hmm..
tomorrow., no classes..
MAPUA here i come.. hehe.. :)


CHILL SPOT..

where will we chill bullsquared peeps?
comment here..
or just text me..
my phone is always open,,
:)


oh yah.. i have a post..:)

Yay!!

happy birthday to me..
happy birthday to me..
happy birthday happy birthday...
Happy Birthday To Me.. :)


yay..
it's January 21st..

thank you very mich to all those people who greeted me..!
i love you all..!!!!
thank you!!

:)

this turned out to be a really great birthday..
i've been recieving many greetings since last night..
thank you very much!
:)

Hours To Go

yey.. just a few hours 'til my birthday..
can't wait!!!
i'm going to be 16..!! yay..

luurrrve it..
hehe..

What's The Difference?

ever noticed how i spelled weird? it's WIERD..

what's the difference?

weird is ill fortune (acccdg to merriam-webster dictionary)

while

wierd is my kind of weird..haha.. it's rem style..and i luuurve it.. hahahahahah.. it's just i feel a large amount of weirdness in this word.. its like the super superlative of weird.. no questions asked.. haha

Wierd Dream

i had a very wierd dream last night..
and it was too long.. well i slept for like 11 hours what do you expect..

it started at school..
all of a sudden everyone has super powers and we were supposed to save this girl that has been taken over by a dark shadow that needs her body to take over the world..
everyone in school turned into hyper people and became super heroes.. others became villains though..
some helped the shadow to take over the girl's body and when they did, they tried to take over the whole school but the superheroes did not make it happen..
when we finally put up a stop on the shadow taking over the girl's body, we thought that the apocalypse already stopped..
after a few days, me and specifically, Rhia, were hanging out in the mall.. but suddenly another girl in a school uniform came running towards us and won't let us be out of her sight.. the feeling was so horrid..!
when we noticed that she was following us in every exit of the mall, we made a run for it.. Rhia already got out but i was stuck inside, it felt like she's controlling my feet., she was holding me..in my arm..
i called up security guards and they helped me out..
we ran as fast as we could to reach the school.. we saw other friends and told them what happened..
she was inside the school now..seemed like she was waiting for us..
slam..she was inside the academy.. we were all terrified with this little kid..how could that be?we were all superheroes..! but when we tried to change to our superhero selves, we can't..

amf.. i woke up.. haha.. there are some parts of the story that i'd rather not discuss..

as you can see.. i'm sooo childish!!! amf.. even my dreams have cartoons in it!!
haha.. if you like my story comment on it!! i think i might post many of my dreams here!! haha

Exam Day

Well, the exams started yesterday but i forgot to mention it..

hmm..
what a big ouch huh?
my birthday ending up as one of the exam days.. wtf..

this will be a hard day because i haven't reviewed..
what the heck.. i have classmates to support me.. haha

the line up for today's exam is:
RESEARCH - heck.. i don't know anything about this.. i'll just review later at school..
BIOLOGY - soooooooooo hard... i'm not a science person for the love of all things... ouchie...
NAT. SCI - the elective.. since the first quarter this is the first time that we had a teacher..wow.. we were so used to iot being a free time.. well, it still is though.. our teacher goes to our room for like, hmm.. twice a month? haha

oh right.. i almost forgot.. hapy fiesta to pinagbuhatan people.. haha..
look out for me and the gang 'coz i'll be there later.. hahaha..
i think i should bring extra clothes with me..


do i need to study? well, i think i should.. hahahaha
bye bye,, i'll have another post i think.. before going to the dumps to study

One Day To Go

yey..!!

one day to go and it's my birthday!!
happy happy reille.. :)

I Want To Go To MAPUA

how the fcuk will i start this..

it's just so hard when you don't know what to do and you just end up hating someone else and blame it on yourself.. how wierd..!

oh right,, i want to go to MAPUA..
my mom won't allow me.. how *shit*

i badly want to go to this college.. MAPUA in makati city..
but there's this one factor that my mom is always pushing through..
"if i want to go to MAPUA i'd rather choose going to intramuros campus"
but i don't like it there.. haayyy......
*getting wierded* *shit!*