Very Very Confused

what am i gonna do?
i'm very confused in what college i'm gonna go to..

being a fourth year student is a very hard job..
you need to pick what you really want to do throughout your life..
it's the time that you need to choose whether you want to just lay back or continue studying;
become a teacher, be a boss, be an architect, be an engineer..
but there will be a time that somehow there is someone that you want to be with during college but it's really hard because you chose different courses..
what the heck.. if you want to be with your friends you can right? but the main reason of college is not being together with your friends but about being confident with yourself, learning more about life and getting ready for your grown-up jobs..

if you want to be successful, you should balance between work and play..
you should have enough time for your serious studies and enough time for your friends..

it's really confusing what to choose right?
amf..
i'm getting dizzier and dizzier as time goes closer to graduation..
graduation means "of to college" and it's really hard to let go of high school life..
it's like, high school is really fun and going out of it would be a very very miserable task for everyone but why would you want to leave it?..
can't we just study our courses in high school?
it sounds easier..

i wanna be surrounded with people i know..
i don't want a place where i'm an out caste, a loner, alone..
i'm monophobic for God's sake..
i think i can't deal with college alone..
well, i really can't..

i just want a sign or something..
i hate thinking about the future..
can't we just have fun today and the future will just wait..

God knows our destiny..
why can't we?
i think it's for us to be prepared..
for us to expect..
for us to be ready..
for us to learn..
God is our guide in life..
He knows whether we're doing the right thing or the wrong..
He'll be there when we made the wrong choice and help us get out of it..

i just hope God will help me through this apocalypse i'm going through..
i don't know what to do next..
what move to make..
to just be stable, to run, to fight..

i want to know what i need to do..
i'm very confused on what i wanna be..
i want to know what i will be..
who i will be..

i want to recommend Demi Lovato's song
WHO WILL I BE.. from Camp Rock..

my favorite part of the song:

" who will i be it's up to me, all the never ending possibilities

that i can see, there's nothing that i can't do"

"if i can become anyone and know the choice is up to me..

Who will I be? "